Why did I get married?

A frustration for a day but I guess it's genuine. Numerous times in this short stint of my marriage I have asked this question – Why did I get married?

There are certain aspects where I find it difficult to reason it out.

1. Because I am married, I am in America
2. Because I am married, I can’t stay with my parents
3. Because I am married, I need to go and meet my in-laws
4. Because I am married, I need to cook food for 2 people
5. Because I am married, I can’t meet my relatives
6. Because I am married, I need to shop along
7. Because I am married, I need to do things that my partner wants
8. Because I am married, I need to bring in kids
9. Because I am married, I can’t take a decision all by myself
10. Because I am married, I need to adjust
11. Because I am married, I need to work here
12. Because I am married, I don’t have a car

 There are many things which you need to learn in this life. Out of which one is being a part of your husband's family. Planning a trip to India and I'm totally excited. Just talked to my husband and he says his folks want me to go to their home town for some puja. At that very moment, the whole excitement wears off. I have nothing left to say.

I have not once asked him to meet my relatives. Nor does he bother. For him it's who's who? He does not care. Why then ask me to meet his relatives or go to his hometown.

Moments like this always makes me question "Why did I get married" I was quite happy with my parents being just my parents.

Moving to India - Noida Chapter

Life changes many clothes. Some looked good and some make us look ugly.

I am right now in one of the ugly clothing's. From where I stand now, nothing looks good.

Who said it's going to be easy in Noida. It's NOT. From the day we have walked in here, it has just been bad. I thought it was a settling issue, but it's more than that.

It started with having to stay with parents. I was ready to move out, the day he came back from his trip to his home. He said no, let's stay a few days longer. As per him, it was for me.

We moved to the rented house and there were stuff to be fixed, things to be done, some items to be bought. Reluctance was all way through to get any of this completed. Got few things done. Every weekend spent in household work. Even if we did get a break, the strain of other things was so high, that I don't even know when we relaxed.

My stress increased in Job, health issues arose, continuous hearing from folks about his work, ask by them to go for another treatment, do all the chores in the house, get things fixed in the house, etc. How much and how long am I supposed to take all this.

We became mechanical, our relationship has strained, there is no attraction for now. I don't want this to happen. I have been trying to make it work. But, we had a showdown yesterday.

I liked a house and wanted to go for it, but he said let's search for more. Search where? I asked him what has been your contribution so far? Just driving till there? This blew him off.

As per him, I do not know what he wants and what he feels. Yes, I do not know because it was never expressed. What was expressed were jokes, mockery of things, news from the world, things which had no meaning for our life together. If I take some actions, it's all meant to be my decisions. I drive everything in the house. He never took the fore front, so what am I to do? But, he never understood.

He never understood, I want a husband, who is strong, independent, can take his own decisions and also drive decisions towards this house. I want a husband, having a good life style, who can interact with people smartly, who can get household services done, who can tell people what to do.

We talked yesterday of the issues and concluded it's all about communication. Way back home, he told me about his office things.

"I went to Mr X, who was coughing. Asked him is he fine? He said Ok. I said Ok and I came back". Tell me how to react!

I did not feel like talking to him all the way y'day nor today. I don't know how long will it take for me to be normal and back to self.

But, for now it's just UGLY

Moving to India - Page 2

26 Nov 2016

Next day being a Saturday we had planned to leave early for looking at the house. We got up early, waited for everyone else in the house to wake up. Had a nice warm breakfast, and then we set on the adventure to see the apartment. We had purchased an apartment in Kadugodi around 2012.

When we reached at our apartment, we were in a state of shock to see the amount of dirt accumulated and cobwebs accumulated in the house.  So the first thing that we decided to start was to get the house cleaned up. Ram got hold of the cleaning team. Did the negotiations in the local language and we got that started.

While I decided to stay in the house to get the cleaning done, Ram and Dhruv moved on the next item on the TODO Gas connection. He and Dhruv went to get the gas connection work done. When they reached the Gas agency after spending 1 hr on the road in place of 15 mins, they found that Indane gas agency is not accepting any new connections on Saturday and will take that only on Monday - Friday. Disappointed, but not giving up  it was then decided to take the HP gas connection. They agreed to give the new connection but before that they would need to inspect the gas. 

Moving to India - Page 1

25 Nov 2016

I am not going through the prequel of how and what happened before and who all are the lead characters. Let me just start from the point when we moved  to Bangalore or let's stay it started from 25 Nov evening, when we landed in Bangalore.

We had presumed Ola booking from airport would be easy. But, what the hell vodafone roaming network completely gave up on me. We ran here and there trying to figure out how to reach Shruti's place. Shruti is Dhruv's sister. Somehow we found one of the bookies for Ola and took his help to get our cab booked. We got into the cab and then what was supposed to be a 40 min journey turned out to be a 2 hr journey where we learned everything about the Cab drivers family, kids, work etc. We even learned that you can get a cheaper car from the market if you say you are going to use it for Ola.  Don't ask me how now?

Anyways we reached Chiya's place close to dinner time. Had a nice warm welcome, dinner and then pushed off to close the day. We met Mahi and Bhanu. Had a nice chit chat.